The label “Femboy” is a complicated one to say the least, and contains many contradictions in it’s own. A couple of the main things that could either classify or declassify you as a correct holder of the femboy label are listed in: 1: An Opening Statement 2: Gender Identity, 3: Motives/Desire, and 4: Appearance.
1.An Opening Statement: A femboy is essentially the antonymn to a tomboy; from a certain viewpoint. In a simple explanation, a femboy is simply an individual who classifies themselves in gender as a male, and expresses qualities more commonly associated and accepted in females. Being a Feminine male means you are a living creature of the typically masculine variety, who has an interest to be in touch with the softer, more beautiful side of (them)self, and acts upon that desire. A feminine man is not weak, nor is he automatically more submissive. A femboy is person who has the balls to go outside, and proudly represent who they are. (no pun intended) We are entirely capable of being your total full fledged badass. We just wanna look great/cute doin’ it. The point of what I’m saying is, being a femboy doesn’t decide how you act or how you interact. Plenty of femboys are gamers, paintballers, mechanics, whatever they feel like. For example, as a femboy who rides downhill, among other stupid dangerous activities, I can easily say that there are the “manliest” of “macho” dudes out there who are too scared to do what I do. We may have feminine qualities, but we sure as hell aren’t wusses. Which leads me to share my usual response to any negative comment I receive. “If I’m such a little sissy, then let’s see you nut up and openly represent as a feminine male in today’s society. See how hard it is, then you can call me whatever you want.”
2. Gender Identity/paradoxes: Above, I state a lot about how a femboy is a feminine male. However, anyone who so desires, may be a femboy. How you ask? Say “I’m a femboy.” This brings up many contradictions. Anyone who says “you can’t be _____ because _____.” Is merely stating an opinion. Any Individual has the right to identify themselves as they prefer, regardless of their biological sex. Yet, the definition of a femboy still remains, and should remain as; an individual who identifies as male and chooses to express feminine qualities within a spectrum of ways. If you don’t fit the parameters within that explanation, a viable statement would always be; “A femboy is typically considered _____, but I like to consider myself one regardless.
3. Motives/Desire: By this I mean, what makes you a femboy, or what makes you want to be a femboy? What would de-classify an individual from using the femboy tag is, if their motives are of sexual/fetishistic origins (i.e. just for fun.) Having these fetishistic desires is not necessarily bad or wrong. It’s the fact that the misuse of the identity tag of femboy by said individuals implements false negative stereotypes/pretences to those who hold the femboy tag close to them on a more personal, meaningful level. If what drives you to be a femboy is more along the lines of; you feeling more comfortable acting out the way you find to be natural for yourself, by staying in touch with your softer more feminine qualities because it makes you a happy and complete person, then you have what I would call “the greater good” of many, in a sea of reasons to call yourself a femboy.
4. Appearance: Why would you call yourself a femboy if you don’t try look like one? Because of your desire/motivations to be one perhaps? Of course, visual perceptions differ, and It’s not a gender tag at all, it’s more of a visual category label in many ways, such as; stud, tomboy, twink, scene, etc. To give an example; you don’t see any swagfags walking around calling their style scene, or punk. It just doesn’t work that way. If an individual chooses to look a certain way, they may choose to identify themselves as such via a label they are fond of, or personally choose to disregard labels altogether. There are femboys out there who don’t consider themselves femboys at all. Just regular people doing their own thing, labelling themselves whatever they see fit.
I did my best to explain/rewrite my previous theories. I’ve learned a lot since I wrote the original. If anyone sees areas that could use improvements, re-writes, or more accurate info, don’t be afraid to come spit on me about it.